Roommates from Hell

Note: To avoid ruining their student lives, the names of the roommates have been replaced with demon names.

Kimaris, the Master Chef.

Meilani Halim reflected on an enigmatic ex-roomate she and her flatmates still joke about, even though he moved out more than one year ago. ‘He was a very interesting character. He would only eat boiled eggs, ham, cheese, and bread.’ Kimaris’ diet wasn’t the only thing that seemed odd, but also how he went on preparing it. ‘He would put water on the fire and then just leave it there until all of it boiled. Then he would come again and add more water, leave it, and do the same. I don’t know if he kept forgetting about it or what. He would leave his eggs boiling for half an hour.’

The kitchenware could not keep up with Kimaris’ innovative cooking techniques. ‘One time, he tried to heat the milk in the electric kettle. Of course that broke the kettle and it left a horrible smell for days.

Balaam, the territorial.

‘She was territorial. Like a dog that pisses on trees,’ said Anna-Carolina about Balaam, a roommate she had for three months. ‘She would leave her groceries all around the house, she took a lot of space. We once asked her if we could sit in the kitchen table with her and after sighing, she answered “I can’t say no because it’s also your house”.’

Balaam stayed for a short period of time, but she left a long-lasting impression. ‘The first week that she moved in she asked if she could invite some friends during Friday night. We were like “Yeah, fine!” She made it sound like a small gathering but it was a full-blown party blasting music. There were people making out in the hallway.’ The party apparently continued until next morning, when another roommate went downstairs to make breakfast. ‘She found Balaam on top of the washing machine making out passionately with her girlfriend. They were only wearing T-shirts and were practically dry humping’.

Persephone, the self-absorbed.

When Selen chose Persephone to share her student house with, she wasn’t prepared for that  many communication problems. ‘It seems like she doesn’t have a real connection with things and people around her.’ An incapacity to engage with her surroundings makes Persephone miss the most common house conventions. ‘It was her turn to buy the toilet paper. I noticed it was running out so I reminded her three times that week. The day we finally ran out of the last roll, I saw her lying on the couch. I told her ‘Persephone, there’s no toilet paper’. She answered “Yeah, I know” and didn’t move. I don’t think that she’s a bad person. She genuinely doesn’t know how to think of other people.’